Today's Emotional Run

So- today's run was emotional for me. I know I have this run coming up in 19 days, so I really need to run whether I feel like running or not. After eating too much this weekend, I haven't felt like running. Today was the same problem. Luckily, my IPOD was charged to help me today. I didn't have my arm band, so I had to stick the IPOD in the little pocket in my pants.

The wind was kicking today. I didn't realize it at first because it was going in the same direction that I was going...then I turned the corner and it was obvious. As I rounded the next corner, the wind was in my face. I felt like I was running so hard, but not going anywhere. Then my lips felt chapped, I had a cramp, my mouth was dry...I was feeling defeated. I kept telling myself the hardest part was going to be the first mile, the mile back, I would have the wind working with me most of the time.

Of all the Massey girls- I may be the most feminine. Tasha and Erica have always been hard core at sports. I never played football with the guys, I don't like frogs, I can't even change a tire (I could prob do it if I had to...I've never had to). One thing I can't do is spit. So, today as the wind is blowing so hard and I don't have any candy to keep my mouth from getting dry, I needed to spit. I call it thick spit. So, spitting usually goes like this...I spit and it hangs from my mouth until gravity takes over. Here's the problem: 40 mph wind + plus thick spit= Jamie getting her own spit in her face.

After a little bit of a struggle with the wind, I finally made it to my halfway point. I thought about going further, but I was ready to be on the way back to finish my run. So, I turn around and start back. With the wind pushing me forward, I get these thoughts of Kathie in my head. I didn't have a playlist to run with today...I was just using shuffle. I normally don't listen to country while I run because I need a faster beat...but SheDaisy- Don't Worry 'Bout A Thing happened to be on...here are the lyrics:

Life is funny, life's a mess
Sometimes a curse, sometimes a blessing
Don't worry 'bout a thing, don't worry 'bout it
Life gets sticky, life can bruise
Sometimes you win sometimes your losing
No matter what it brings
Don't worry 'bout a thing

Suddenly, I was overwhelmed with thoughts of Kathie. I was running like I was being chased. No jogging, flat out running. I'm sure the wind gave me a push, but my strides were wider and faster and it wasn't feeling winded like I normally would. It was a total Forest Gump moment. I ran until the wind started working against me. Then, I cried. I actually wept.

I used to loathe running. I didn't run for fun. Now I run for a reason. In the last month of Kathie's life, I begged God to take away her pain or fear and just bring her comfort. There was nothing I could do for her other than that. I offered to shave my head when she went bald, I wanted to donate bone marrow, but in all my attempts, I still felt helpless. Running is the one thing I can do even after Kathie is gone.

I don't like to use the phrase "Lost her battle with cancer"...to me Kathie won. I know that she is now eternally free from cancer.

I run because cancer sucks.

I've told my story before about why I run, but I want to remind myself about my motivation...

I was hired at Farmers Bank when Kathie had to leave because she had AML- Acute Myeloid Leukemia. Kathie became healthy enough to return to work and we became amazing friends. Kathie once said that anyone who runs for cancer, is okay in her book. After Kathie lost her battle to cancer (stupid tears are keeping me from typing), I decided I want to run for Kathie.

I started running on the treadmill, which is incredibly boring. One mile on that thing feels like an eternity. Then, I started running through Windsor. I finally ran my first 5k on Thanksgiving Day in 2009. In March of 2010, I ran my first 8k (5 miles). My finishing time was 1:01:01. 1 hour, 1 minute, 1 second...I can do better than that! My goal this year is to do it around 55 minutes...which means I have to knock a minute off each mile I run.

This years 8k will be on March 19, 2011, in Virginia Beach, at 8 AM. What do I need? I need running buddies for the next few weeks. I run better when I have someone to run with. I would also LOVE cheerleaders for race day. You don't have to run 5 miles with me. Just stand on the sideline with a poster and hoot and holler when I run by you. Then meet me at the finish line and hang out on the beach with me the rest of the day and go to lunch with me...It amazes me how much I can eat after running. So, any volunteers?

I am officially signing up with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team in Training to raise money in memory of Kathie and to get help with training for a 1/2 marathon. I'm waiting to hear about starting up a team. If anyone else is interested in running, let me know :) The Rock 'n' Roll 1/2 marathon benefits the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. That race is September 4, 2011...and it will be my first 1/2 marathon!

So...who wants to run tomorrow? :)

Game Day foods

I know that I am going to eat a lot during the Super Bowl. I eat when my boys are doing good and when they are not doing so good. These are some of my favorite foods. (I've listed healthier options for some of the ingridients...somethings are hopeless-fattening foods.)

Sausage Dip:
1lb bulk sausage (or turkey sausage)
1 brick cream cheese (or neufchatel)
1 can rotel tomatoes
tortilla chips (they make these in whole wheat now!!!)

Creamy Buffalo Chicken Dip:
1 brick cream cheese (softened) (Or neufchatel)
3/4 cup hot sauce
1 cup ranch dressing
3 cans chunk white chicken, drained and shredded
4 oz. shredded cheddar cheese

-Mix cream cheese, hot sauce, and ranch dressing. Stir in chicken. Pour in a casserole dish (spray it with Pam first...you'll thank me later.) Sprinkle with cheese and bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes.

Mediterranean Dip:
7 oz. Hummus
1/2 cup chopped tomatoes
1/4 cup cucumbers
4 oz. crumbled feta cheese
slice black olives.

-layer in a dish in the order of listed ingredients and serve with pita chips.

Meatballs:
1 bag frozen Italian style meatballs
1 can crushed pineapple
1 small jar grape jelly
3 jars chili sauce (near the ketchup or A-1 at the grocery store)

Cook in crock pot all day.

Taco dip:
Refried beans
Sour cream
1 lb. ground beef (ground turkey and ground chicken tastes just as good)
taco seasoning
salsa
cheese
lettuce
tomato

Mix beans and sour cream together (if you want to go without meat...add the taco seasoning to the beans and sour cream.) Put a layer of salsa, then cheese, and finish with lettuce and tomato. (If you have any other taco toppings that you like, feel free to add them. Serve with fritos. :)